Wake up. Pray. Do the best you can.
Yep. That’s all I’ve got. I don’t know. I read books. I read blogs. I watch others. I reflect on my own experiences with my parents. I think about the type of people I hope to have raised. I pray. I actually pray a lot. I pray for my kids, their friends, their teachers, their influences, their future mates, their decisions, their health- everything. And, then, I just hang on.
I honestly do not believe that there is a true parent in the world that wakes up and thinks, “How can I hurt my kid today?” or “How can I ruin my kid’s life today?” I think we all wake up and wonder how we can not only survive this day, but how can we enjoy our kids today? The baby stage is really hard and scary. You have to keep a human alive and learn how to do lots of things you didn’t know how to do. You have to trust others and you have to figure out how to pay for all the things… Just when you figure that out, the toddlers teach you all about how to have patience and just how many drawers and outlets are in your house. Your toddler starts to take over your every decision and you realize that this is only the beginning.
The elementary days are full of questions and birthday parties and “opportunities” to volunteer. You are in public as a mother. Really in public- as a parent. Usually, by this time, you also have another baby to contend with as you are simultaneously learning to parent the elementary kid. And the Elf on the shelf. Yep. You have to play along and embrace goofy traditions even though you wish you could punch the Elf.
Middle school roles around and you just learn to brace for impact. The mouthiness begins. The pimples. The clothes. The phones. Do you get them a phone? Do you monitor their phones? Do you allow social media? Boys? What do you do with boys?
High school. Driving. College. Prom. Boys- almost Men. Drugs. Alcohol. Vaping. Language. Jobs. Careers. Scholarships.
AAAAHHHHH!!!!! How? How do you parent? What advice do I have? What have I learned? Pray. Surrender your family to God early on. Pray every.single.day. Multiple times a day. Try to be rational. Try not to freak out. Listen. Really listen. Help problem solve when you can. Be there. Cook for their friends and welcome them into your home. Listen to their friends. Offer to help. Say yes more than no, but for goodness sake, say NO when you need to.
Last, but certainly not least, don’t judge. You don’t know. You don’t know what happens behind closed doors and almost always, you don’t know the whole story. Kids are human. Teenagers are human. Humans are only somewhat predictable. Just when you think you know what you’re going to do or how you are going to handle something, these humans completely confuse you. You think you know what to expect and that is the furthest from the truth. So, just listen. Take a breath. Think before you speak. Try to speak truth and light into their lives. Open your arms and hold them, but brace for impact. They will start to pull away and it’s okay. They need you to argue with them so that they know how to argue appropriately. Be flexible, though, so that even when they rebel, they know you have their back.
And, PRAY. Pray often. Cover them in prayer. Pray in their rooms and in their cars and anywhere you are. Pray for their friends. Pray for their friend’s parents. Do the best you can every single day and rest in the fact that you’ve given it your very best. That’s my advice. 🙂
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