Pine Needles

Oh man. This post is raw- about as raw as it gets.

A few years ago, we had the driveway resurfaced with rock. It was beautiful. I mean, totally beautiful. Gorgeous rocks adorned the driveway and it was almost picturesque. This morning, it was full of leaves, debris, and pine needles. Lots of pine needles.

The pine needles are a consequence of having evergreens in Texas. Gosh. They are most beautiful. When we first moved in, I would open the front curtains and look out the windows as though I were on vacation. Only, the pine needles kill everything. Literally. If you do not stay on top of them, they multiply. Pine needles everywhere.

Today, I worked for four hours on homework. Next, I joined my husband outside for barn painting and yard work. Lots of work. Always. Most importantly, the front of the barn needed painted. My husband is wonderful and it was a perfect day for painting. So, he painted. We all worked around the yard for hours. The kids pulled weeds, worked the duck pen, played baseball… all the normal things. Then, for some reason, as my husband started the grill, I started on the driveway. Work for the most part had been completed, yet, I chose to start the driveway.

I started blowing off the pine needles that were buried along the area we park in. Keep in mind that I had already sprayed the area with Round Up, but still, weeds. So, I start blowing and all the way down, I blow. The wind was in my favor and it was going well. The area my daughter usually parks had more than expected, but it went okay. Yet, as I neared the entrance, more pine needles built up. I was in a place where I had to make a decision. Do I blow them off to the side? Yes. Remember the wind is in my favor. It is best to be able to mulch them later, but just finish.

Then, the front of the gates. Yikes. Too many needles. Really? Where did these come from? Here they were- all piled up. Nobody to blame- no reason, just neglect. Some serious pine needles that have been neglected- probably for years. Unattended. Piled up. Ridiculous. I started to get pissed. Then, I just kept at it. Just keep nagging away. Remember, the wind was in my favor- so I kept blowing. I made a pile. I attacked it at every angle. The pile grew bigger, but it was okay. I went inside and grabbed a trash bag. Actually, I grabbed two.

It took three bags, but the pine needles lost. I won. I successfully bagged up three bags of neglected pine needles from my driveway. It’s not perfect, but it is better. Life happens. I’m not mad at myself or anyone else for the mess in my front yard. I’m simply acknowledging that life build up. The things you do not deal with do not control you, but they do build up. Like pine needles. They build. You don’t even realize just what a mess is there until you begin to confront it.

Suck it up. Deal with it. It’s messy. I need a shower more than anything else. I’m pretty sure there are rocks in my shoes and bugs in my hair- but I feel liberated. I dealt with the things that are messy, dirty, and uninvited. It’s okay. I’m okay. I’m not less of a person because I’m a mess. I am human and life is messy. When necessary, I deal with what is in front of me and I am strong, capable, and pine needles did not get the best of me. Today.