For the last two mornings, I’ve woken up in tears. Such raw emotions are encompassing me. There is so much going on, and all I can think about is God’s grace. 18 months ago, my oldest daughter sustained a life-changing injury. She herniated her entire lumbar region. She spent weeks in the hospital and had several spinal injections, medicine reactions, and went from being a super active, tumbling, varsity cheerleader and gymnastics coach to laying in a bed- unable to walk. Basic life functions like taking a shower, going to the restroom, dressing herself- all of those things were too much. Seriously. The pain. Oh, the pain. And, there was NOTHING I could do to help- except pray, try to figure out the medicine, call the doctors, and pray some more. It took over 3 months for her to gain some mobility and when she did, her knee gave way. This set her up for her third knee surgery in 2 years. Life was overwhelming.
Today, she is back to coaching gymnastics and doing so very well. She bought and sold a vehicle on her own and paid cash for the entire transaction. She has secured all of the details for the transition into college and Friday night- on that same football field- she will receive a scholarship. She has transformed into a stunning beauty with grace, love, and determination. This girl. She’s a fighter.
And, then Facebook memories flood my feed at this time every year. My son was born 8 years with Spina Bifida. The doctors said he would never walk or learn to use the toilet on his own. By this time 8 years ago, we had spent months in the hospital and had multiple surgeries and procedures. The first time he pooped on his own, we celebrated. For three solid years, our home turned into a revolving door of specialists and therapy sessions and more surgeries and hospital stays. The Ronald McDonald House became our 2nd home. And, the braces Taylin wore on his feet. They still take my breath away.
So, the tears. I’m trying to figure out how to make it to Taylin’s double header baseball game and still be there for every moment of the SENIOR prom festivities. My kids. My kids with walking, running, dancing feet. My daughter is about to graduate from high school in the top 8% and next month, I’ll be defending my dissertation while accomplishing my own personal goals. I’m tired, weary, and need rest- yet, I’ve never felt so humbly full of gratitude and bountiful energy. I think it’s a coping mechanism because in the quiet, still moments of the night, my heart and head reflect on just how far we’ve come and how His grace has always been enough.
Comments